By Duy Mai
So when I had the chance to write an article about the international student community, I thought it would be the perfect chance for us to get together. I figured that since the majority of us have been away from home for at least 3 years in different parts of the world, we would all have our own experiences and our own stories to tell. So after weeks of planning, juggling timezones, scheduling and rescheduling, I managed to gathered everyone into one online meeting.
For context, here are the people who were in the conversation with me:
Duy: What made you decide to become an international student? Why did you choose your current school and the country you currently live in?
G: In Vietnam, I was studying in advanced English language classes and so it was pretty much decided that I was going to study abroad. My parents were also able to financially sponsor my studies and so I began preparing for my eventual trip. I wanted to study in the US. However, due to how expensive tuition was (even after scholarships), I decided to travel to the Netherlands. They had lower tuitions and we were only required to be in school for 3 years instead of 4. Also, they didn’t ask for any personal statements *laughs*. Even now, I’m still pleased with my decision when I was 18 to study Applied Sciences with a focus on environmentalism, which is what I always wanted to do.
T: My parents wanted me to study abroad since middle school. My
dream destination wasn’t the US but the UK. Unfortunately, the UK is also very
expensive so I also pivoted to Europe. I knew that I wanted to major in
something that didn’t involve math, something more in the realm of liberal
arts. So I decided to study Media Communication in the Netherlands.
Another reason why I wanted to study abroad was because I feel like colleges in Vietnam are not as practical when it comes to media. Media there is more focused on politics, which is something that I didn’t enjoy.
Duy: How did you feel first coming in as an international student?
T: It took me a year to truly adapt to everything. Europe can be really depressing in the winter and I came in the middle of the pandemic. All the international students went back to their home countries and I was stuck attending classes online. In the beginning, I struggled a lot with loneliness. In high school in Vietnam, you would always have a group of friends you get to see every day and we don’t have anything like that in the Netherlands.
It was also challenging handling living expenses. I didn’t know how to properly manage my funds. People tend to either overspend or underspend. I underspend a lot and that affected my quality of life quite heavily. I would also be a lot more reluctant to hang out with friends because it can be really expensive.
Duy: How about you, G? Speaking of the pandemic, I know you had to halt your studies midway and return to Vietnam because of it. Can you talk about that?
G: When I first arrived in the Netherlands, it was fall, which was really depressing. I couldn’t find housing during my first month there, so I would cry myself to sleep every night. Every night. I struggled a lot with living by myself in a foreign country where nobody looked like me or spoke my language. There was definitely a necessary period of adjustment.
March 2020, after 6 months in the Netherlands and just when I began to settle, the pandemic happened. My parents wanted me to come home. They paid for my flight and so I felt financially obligated to travel back. I switched to online classes and that came with its own host of problems. The different time zones, for example. I would be up at night attending classes and had nothing to do during the day when my parents and siblings would be out and about. And because it was the height of the pandemic, I decided to take a gap year altogether.
Chị khá là bị traumatized bởi việc học nặng và qua một nước mới. Chị cảm thấy như là mình chưa sẵn sàng đi học lại (I guess I was really traumatized by everything. The courseload was really heavy and having to adapt to a new country while studying made me feel like I wasn’t ready for school). The internship I landed also had a 6-month contract so I decided to commit to that instead. Within my gap year, I had 2-3 internships, which I found really enriching. I got to understand more about the work culture of Vietnam and also had something to put on my resume *chuckles*.
When I returned to the Netherlands, it was a lot easier. For example, I had friends to help me with the housing situation. My goals were also really clear: I wanted to focus on my studies and earn my degree.
Duy: And you, A?
A: The first week, I missed my family a lot. Some nights I would cry myself to sleep too. But I got over it about 2 or 3 weeks after thanks to my school holding a Vietnamese international student meetup. I got to meet a lot of friends and that helped with my homesickness a lot. They would take me to the bank, help me with groceries, and invite me to board game hangouts. They really helped me survive the brutal first few weeks.
I also started dating someone about a month later and he introduced me to a group of friends. That helped a lot. I think adapting to a new environment depends a lot on how much you socialize so hanging out with them was really crucial.
Duy: You gave me a perfect segue into my next question. It’s really difficult to find people you can rely on, especially in a new environment. Would you mind talking about a group of friends or a community that helped you a lot?
A: The Vietnamese Student Association at my school helped me a lot. I volunteered there. I also saw a few issues in how the organization was run and so I suggested solutions. I became their social media manager. I learned a lot through running their Facebook account. I was then promoted to vice-president, and then president. I got to organize a lot of fun events and through that met a lot of people.
As for the group of friends my boyfriend introduced me to, they were all older than me and so I got a lot of great advice from them. I feel like that’s the benefit of having friends older than you, I really can talk about my problems to them.
T: My school actually has a lot of Vietnamese students. I have a really close group of 3 other girls. They helped me a lot with my personal struggles. It’s nice being able to vent to them knowing that they are going through the same thing.
Another really important person is my housemate, who is 10 years older than me. I relate a lot with what A said about talking to someone older than you. I think what she gave me was a different mindset. When you hang out with people of the same age, you all have the same perspectives and the same worries. When I talk to my housemate, she can give me a more holistic viewpoint. She really helped me develop a growth mindset.
Đối với em, điều quan trọng nhất mà em nhận được từ việc du học là cái mindset của mình chứ không phài là kĩ năng (What I feel like I gained from being an international student is a different mindset, not the skills or knowledge you learn in school). A mindset like that only comes from interacting with others within a different community.
Duy: Another perfect segue to my final question. This was meant to be a pseudo-reunion for The Cambio Project. We have not talked to each other in 4 years so I wanted to know how you think you’ve changed and how you think you’ll keep growing.
T: I feel like I’m a lot mellower. Fewer panic attacks *chuckles*. I also feel a lot more confident in my own abilities. Not in an arrogant way like ‘I can do anything I want to’ but more like ‘If I really put my mind to this, I can learn and achieve at least something.’ I’m still the same in a lot of ways, and still really passionate about what we did in The Cambio Project. I still enjoy art, environmentalism, and sustainability.
G: I struggled with comparing myself to others a lot, especially in Vietnam where I was constantly surrounded by really high-achieving students. However, I feel like studying abroad really broadened my definition of success. I feel like anything is possible. As long as dedicate yourself to it, you really can achieve anything. It just takes time.
I still struggle with the constant comparison. But getting to see the world and the different lives everyone leads, again, really shows me that success can mean a lot of different things.
A: I feel like the biggest change I’ve seen in myself in the past 4 years was how I now interact with people. I think I used to be really shy. I’d never speak my mind. But after 3 years of college and a year of professional work, I feel like you’d lose out on a lot if you don’t speak your mind. You really have to show that you’re there and you’re willing to contribute. Chị cũng thay đổi mindset của mình rất là nhiều. Từ “Mình không làm được điều đó đâu. Mình rất là ngại.” cho tới việc là “Hay là mình thử một chút xem sao.” (I also feel like my mindset has shifted from “I don’t know how to” to “Let’s just give it a try anyway.”) Overall, I feel like I have matured a lot compared to 4 years ago.
